i just want famous friends so i can be famous by association and not have to do any work
I wonder if anyone ever looks at me while I’m doing something and thinks I’m pretty. Because I do that all the time to people.
Is it still gay if you call it a brojob?
when the teacher thinks you’re not paying attention but you answer their question correctly
one day you’re gonna see a cute boy and he’s gonna become your boyfriend or husband he won’t just be another cute boy added to the list of guys that ignored you
whenever i feel pretty good about myself, this pretty girl comes by and my self esteem drops again
I love when people shut the fuck up
the people who like say ‘1 second has passed’ when ur like ‘just give me a sec’ are the people u need to avoid and sacrifice to the aztec gods
i can’t believe tomorrow is christmas
*has a son* *names him 1k* *punches son* guys I hit 1k
If I was president I’d probably get assassinated like 4 hours into the presidency
last year a big group of girls in my class were all talking and this one girl was like “im bisexual” and all the girls like stared at her and then the girl goes “dont worry im only attracted to pretty girls” and i was like did she just burn every girl in here i think she did
what if squidward was a rapper and after all of his songs he went “squid. word”
jokes are most certainly illegal. knock knock you say? ill tell you who’s there. the fucking police.